Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Gabriel

 
 Gabriel is my little brother. He looks similar to Jonas. Their eyes are identical-beautiful pale blue that makes them stand out from everyone. Most of the citizens has dark eyes, including my group members, friends, parents and I. I  felt a little jealous, since they have something that I don't have. So, I said to him that they could have the same birth mother. Jonas just shrugged and walkaway. Gabriel cries a lot during his sleep. We makes all of us wake up, except Jonas, who always has a sound sleep. So one time, suggested to my parents that he could  sleep together with Gabriel. My parents were pleased for my brother's kindness and let him sleep together. And somehow, I was not woke by Gabriel's hideous scream. I was thinking that if they had the same kind of facial features, they might have the same kind of personality. So, Gabriel also might be elected as the receiver.  I have the feeling that they are connected somehow...

Comfort Objects

   What I always have and must have is my comfort object. Every child in my community is given a comfort object when they born, which is soft and stuffed pillows. They are illustrated by imaginary creatures, such as lion. Mine is an elephant. My teacher said that they had rough hard skin to protect from temperature changes and attacks from their enemies. But I've never seen them in my whole in tire life. My teacher also said that all the animals were extinct by some kind of natural causes. Anyways, at the age of 8, there is a rule that you have to have it recycled for the younger children. My brother had one too, and it was called a bear. Of course he gave them away to the center. My smaller brother, Gabriel, also got one to and its called a hippo. It doesn't look nice, but sure its more soft than ours. My mother says that since I'm going to be 8 soon, I should practice sleeping without the comfort object. I know I'm the only one in my age group who hasn't learnt to sleep without the comfort object. And I do feel ashamed of my self. Comfort objects are usually keeped on the shelf. I'm very exited to be 8 years old, yet concerned that I will lose my comfort object forever. I am wondering how I am going to sleep without the comfort object.

Jonas

 Jonas is my elder brother. He always help me when I have problems-He helped me to give the bad feeling away when I didn't like a boy's bad behaviour. He gave me the best answer, an unimaginative, yet right answers that will make me feel more happier. So, I was happy that my brother got an honorable job as the receiver, the chosen one. However, since then I feel that his heart might not be opened to anyone. Well sometimes we got mad at each other and didn't like each other's behaviour, but he's still, my brother. But then, I don't know the feeling to describe my feelings in a specific word. Its not like my parents saying to me that they enjoy me or take pride of my accomplishments. I know thinking about these things are inappropriate, meaning less, and doesn't do anything with the future happening I will have, but still. I wonder if Jonas can express this emotion that makes me feel warm deep inside from my heart..Now, I feel like the job as the receiver is taking Jonas away from us.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Ceremony of 12: Jonas


   When my brother was selected to be the receiver, the most honorable job within all the roles given to the community, I was very proud of him. I felt proud that he was my family. However, I felt a little jealous, and want to take that role to make it as mine. So at home, I was not able to say congratulations deep from my heart. After that, I couldn't see straight in his eyes. I was ashamed of my self thinking about those things, and yet scared that he will read my feelings from my eyes. After a few weeks, Jonas became slightly different. It felt like he knew something that he wasn't supposed to know. His attitude to my parents and me changed a lot. His eyes showed that he no longer trust us. Before he had the job as the giver, he was totally different. I miss the old Jonas.
   When I was in the ceremony, and Jonas's name was not called, I was a little worried about him. I knew it was some kind of mistake, since every one gets to have a role, so I wasn't surprised when the leader told that it was a mistake.

When I will be 9 years old..

   I always wanted a bicycle. Every time I see Jonas, my brother, riding it, I beg him until he lets me ride the bike for a while. Actually, there is a rule saying that children under the age of 9 are not allowed to ride a bike, due to safety issues. Even so, small children like me secretly borrows their sibling's bike. The leaders of the community doesn't take this problem seriously. I bet they also had done the same thing in their childhood.  Anyways, I will be very pleased when I get my brand new bike.
  The other thing that I always was always concerned was my irritating hair ribbon. I wanted to take them off. It was always undone and dangling, which sometimes falls off my hair. I've seen people out side not having their ribbons and riding their bicycles, which makes me feel extremely unsatisfied. I usually do it by myself, but when we have special occasions, my mother do it for me.
   And last but not least. This is a happy thing! When we are 9 years old, we get to start our volunteer hours. This is a great chance to make new group mates to play with. My first option was to be a birth mother. Natasha, my friend, had her volunteer hours in there, and according to her story, it pretty seemed that it was the perfect place for me. She said these things were provided to the birth mothers...Wonderful food, gentle exercise periods, and lots of spare times that I can enjoy my self playing games with my friends. However, my mother said that the job as a birthmother had only a little honor, a suggested me to rather be a nurturer. I thought it wasn't a bad idea. Still, I cannot forget what Natasha told me....